Random Thoughts.....
9/18 I just came back from an amazing weekend on Conneaut Lake, where Valerie Dearing and I ran our first Bear and Butterfly Retreat, featuring yoga, art, food through connecting with the senses. It was beyond our expectations: supportive and energetic participants, incredible gourmet vegetarian food, and the most amazing lakeside setting we could have asked for (perfect early fall weather stayed with us the whole time, offering the most technicolor sunsets imaginable.) We practiced vinyasa, yin and kundalini yoga, painted our chakras, shook things up at an energetic trance dance, went canoeing and enjoyed an evening bonfire. Flying home from Pennsylvania, i ran the whole experience through my mind and became tear-filled with gratitude and blessings for the opportunity to lead this retreat with Val and our personal vegetarian chef, David Hanna.
The bubble almost burst when i came to the parking lot in the airport, and my car was gone. Turns out, i had parked in a no-parking zone and it was towed. So again the tears came - first in anger at my own stupidity, and then just out of self-pity, plus, I had no idea where to go nor how to get my car back. In the next moment, an angel appeared in the form of a security guard, who promptly swooped me up in his car and escorted me to the towing pound where i plunked down a hefty chunk of change for my car. Thanking him profusely, and still crying, i began the drive back to Long Island....but why was i crying now?
It felt yucky to berate myself and call myself an idiot. Here i was in the afterglow of an abundant weekend, in my car driving home to see my son, the sun was shining, the windows were open and my hair was flying around in the most perfectly temperate breeze....so i was out a few hundred bucks...and....????? I dropped the self-pity and self-loathing and brought myself back to the present moment, to this space and suddenly felt light, compassionate, grateful....it could have been raining and cold, i could have had to get on Airtrain and lugged my heavy bag to the pound alone, it could have been double the price....but no, this moment was perfect, i was right where i was supposed to be, and it made me realize that i need to pay attention ALL THE TIME, especially when i am in a hurry, emotional or stressed. It reminded me that i need to be thankful for beautiful experiences, angels that appear out of nowhere and family waiting at home for me. It opened me up to the smells and sights, tastes and tears of now. And the tears flowed again. And I didn't hold them back.
